A different take on the Big Boy.

Lots of folks are outraged at Big Boy Mark’s Dumb Attempt at Theft.

I just feel sorry for him.

I tried checking out his site to see where he had stolen my writing. But alas, he is already gone. He is performing maintenance on his site. I wonder who he will become next? Will he continue to play the part of a fattie? Or will he assume the role of someone else?

 Just who is Big Boy Mark?

I worry about people like him.

As a former journalist turned wannabe behaviorist, I like to ponder why people do things, and then write about it. Often I muse about my own behavior. It’s self-involvement on my own part, I imagine.

But Big Boy Mark — I worry about him. I don’t care if he stole my writing. I can write more. I’m a better writer than he is, clearly, otherwise why would he have bothered to steal my stuff in the first place? I have a stronger ego than he does, clearly, otherwise I wouldn’t bother putting myself out here, vulnerable and haunted by my body image struggles more often than not. He had to find me — us — to find a voice for himself. That speaks to a lack of ego, in a certain way. And that is sad.

What if he is a fattie? Maybe he has been beaten down by so many others that he cannot speak for himself. Maybe he cannot find his own voice, and is jealous that people like us have been able to rise against the vitriol society has for looking as we do. The act of theft is taking from someone what the thief cannot have. And what is it that we have here? A community. A sense of belonging. A support network. A voice. A movement. A sense of purpose. A lot of attention, recently.

I imagine Big Boy Mark does not have these things, fat or thin. I can’t be angry at him for that, ultimately. It is worse to be pitied than to be hated. And I pity him, in a real way. What he did was sad  — and driven out of a sadness I hope not to know.



  1. ladyjaye said,

    February 5, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    I don’t see how it’s pitiful –sure, it’s a call for attention and what not (and not a smart one at that, considering that he included stuff taken from the NYT and BBC, which have much more powerful legal ressources than we do). If you can’t write, find another outlet for expressing yourself, be it through illustration or visual design, or radio, etc.

    Sad? Maybe. But still a pisser. I might not be one of the bloggers whose work he lifted, but it still pisses me off.

  2. Lindsay said,

    February 5, 2008 at 2:52 pm

    Oh, don’t get me wrong – i feel incredibly sorry for this person. It’s obvious that he tried to create a persona, complete with a fake audience to go with it. This is someone who very likely is in desperate need of attention… likely of the professional kind.

    My pity for him does not make his actions excusable.

  3. February 5, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    I’m too busy being pissed to feel sorry for him. Lack of ego, need for attention, what-the-hell-his-problem what he did was wrong and especially insulting to any of us who don’t have much ego or confidence, but set out to write because it was important to have a voice in a world that works so hard to rob us of our voices.

    That he stole my entry on that very issue is double-plus insulting.

    You have a valid point, but right now, I disagree with it. I appreciate your post because it gave me some way to give voice to a complex set of emotions I haven’t really known what to do with.

    I hope live brings him everything he deserves.

  4. thoughtracer said,

    February 5, 2008 at 6:16 pm

    I don’t think his actions are excusable. I will be logging a complaint. I still feel sorry for him. Ultimately, what’s wrong with people like this that they can’t just be honest and true?

  5. February 5, 2008 at 6:22 pm

    A look at the internet archives shows that site’s gone through a lot of identity changes, all with the same owner (or at least the same picture of “Big Boy Mark”)… it looks like he’s tried to make it as a web cam, uh, performer, a technical support guy, and maybe a couple other things besides. I kind of get the feeling he’s been throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks, and nothing has been sticking.

    But then we must also consider that his podcast show apparently does/did have at least one corporate sponsor, which gives him a financial motive for trying to appear like a (no pun intended) big man on the internet.

    So I can get the feeling sorry for that, but I can also get the feeling angry.

  6. Lindsey said,

    February 14, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    He stole quite a few of my posts and I don’t feel sorry for him at all…he did it purposefully and he deserves all the scorn and anger he is receiving.

    He also called me crazy as he plagiarized my writing, and changed specifics to suit his needs! In the famous words of Stephanie Tanner, “How ruuuude!”.

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